Power Rankings and Week 12 picks...

Before we start this week's column I must ask this question:

Can you find a gayer picture then this? I mean obviously if you look for one you can but can you find a gayer picture then this where guys are not kissing and aren't naked? It might just be the gayest photo ad of all time. Not that there's anything wrong with that (sorry, normally I don't miss the opportunity for a Seinfeld reference) Now you're wondering where I found it, it was one of the ad's on a website I was reading, and I was thinking, really Tom, are you really that desperate to do work for a cologne company? Just was bothering me because it's just so laughable.

Also Thursday's Cowboys game was nice to see for the 1st 20 minutes of the game. The offense looked like it did all last year and the 1st couple weeks of this season. Romo was getting plenty of time and was accurate. Then for about the next 15 minutes of game time the line looked like garbage like in the 2nd half of last year's playoff game vs. the Giants. I don't know why they couldnt keep the Seahawks guys out of Romo's face. DeMarcus Ware made a statement and hopefully put himself in contention for the defensive player of the year. 'Fat' Albert Haynesworth would probably be my pick but Ware would be no lower then 3rd. The only thing I really didn't like from this past week was the pass defense was horrid, I'm not sure if Dallas played a lot of zone and soft coverage or if Mike Jenkins being out made that big a difference but it was a problem, especially with us travelling to Pittsburgh next Sunday. Also I'm more and more impressed every week at how this defense plays when the team gets inside the red zone, they really pick it up a notch. My favorite part of the game was watching Julius Jones running into the back of a linemen's ass, just classic J. Jones.

But I figured this week I'd try and take a crack at doing some power rankings, all the big time affiliates have them and well I'm pretty big time myself, I may have 10 readers soon, so let's get to it. I'd also like to point out these are my opinions and some of it may not be based on records:

1. New York Giants - Pretty obvious pick, if I wasn't so anxious to knock this team down a peg or 2 I'd say it would take a lot to remove this team from a fairly secure spot.

2. Tennessee Titans - Really here because of there record. I believe they lost last week because they fell down early against a good team. The week before they fell down to a bad Jacksonville team and came back to win. Against a good team like the Jets that's not going to happen because they're a run heavy team and when they're forced into obvious passing situations Kerry Collins will be ineffective, it's not his style and it's not the Titans style. They're built to play with a lead or close 1 possession games and rely on there defense to make plays, that's why they lost to the Jets. These type of teams are always susceptible to upsets in the playoffs.

3. New England Patriots - This might look crazy considering the Jets just beat the Patriots but if they play the Jets again there is no doubt in my mind they will prevail, they win the coin toss agains the Jets in there last meeting and they're most likely the victors and sitting atop the division.

4. New York Jets - They're in prime position to win the division title with Miami and Buffalo at home and Seattle and San Francisco on the road. I feel that Brett Favre may screw up once the playoffs get started though.

5. Dallas Cowboys - May be overreacting but they're starting to get it together (and as it happens injuries occur) But I really think they can go into there next game and upset Pittsburgh especially if they get after Big Ben and his porous offensive line.

6. Indianapolis Colts - The reason they aren't ahead of the Cowboys is they're having to many close calls, I want to see a blowout or 2 everyonce in a while. 6 of there wins have been by a total of 23 points. They could be higher come playoff time and going into the final week vs. Tennessee they should have 8 wins in a row (they play Cleveland, Detroit, Cincinatti and Jacksonville)

7. Pittsburgh Steelers - There schedule is a hell of a lot harder then the Ravens, if they lose against New England Sunday, I don't think they're making the playoffs. It's a shame either them or the Ravens can't take the AFC West's playoff spot.

8. Baltimore Ravens - After this week's gimme vs. Cincinatti they play Washington, Pittsburgh then @ Dallas and close out against Jacksonville. They go 2-1 (or beat Pittsburgh) in that 3 game stretch they should clinch a playoff spot.

9. Tampa Bay Bucs - I've seen other publications rank them higher, and frankly I had them lower when I started this. I just don't see this team going far in the playoffs, they're like a poorer version of the Titans, that suck on the road. I just am not that impressed by them, in fact aside from the Saints (and the Falcons at home) I don't think either team has a chance to go places, though some places really like the Panthers.

10. Atlanta Falcons - They get this spot because they proved to have recovered nicely from the loss against the Broncos the previous week. Guess they are a legit team who will be in it til the end, but now they're gonna have to prove it on the road (@ Nawlins, Minnesota and San Diego) Ultimately with that schedule they're going to miss the playoffs.

11. Carolina Panthers - They beat the Falcons last week and they're a lot higher, they only have 2 home games the rest of the year. They play on the road against Nawlins, the Giants and Green Bay all tough places and Tampa whupped them earlier this year at there place they need to rebound this week or they'll be on the outside.

12. Washington Redskins - Big game vs. the Giants this week. There 1st matchup was embarrassing, the 'Skins looked like they had no idea what to do offensively. Defensively after the 1st couple drives Eli looked awful against them. If they force them to pass this week they can pull off the upset and not fall back a game in the division and go up a game on Dallas in division games.

13. New Orleans Saints - Say what you want about Kurt Warner but Drew Brees has been for awhile my MVP, it is scary what he could with Warner's weapons maybe over 75% completion percentage. I can't give up on this team as long as he's healthy and I would hate to meet up with them in the playoffs. The more I look at there schedule it actually looks somewhat favorable for them, as long as they dont screw up.

14. Philadelphia Eagles - Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

15. Arizona Cardinals - They can't play past East of the Mississippi, luckily the rest of the division can't play in the entire continental US

16. Minnesota Vikings - I think they may be the best team in the division but there schedule (I may be overplaying the schedule factor, a tad) is the hardest, it's there own fault there record isn't better though.

17. Chicago Bears - Week 16 showdown vs. the Pack could decide the division

18. Green Bay Packers - I still think letting Aaron Rodgers start was the right move even if he was part of the reason they lost last week vs. the Saints, but if it makes them feel better, Drew Brees does that to about every team he plays.

19. Denver Broncos - Had they not been absolutely embarrassed last week at home they could be about 6 spots higher, but jesus there defense is abysmal, what's even more sad is they'll get a home playoff game. That's a rule that needs to be fixed this off season, a team does not deserve a playoff game vs. the wildcard team if there record is worse (and this year they may be 3 games worse then there opponent)

20. Miami Dolphins - No surprise they lost last week, excuse me while I pat myself on the back. They should get to 9 wins though playing StL this week and playing San Fran and KC at home. If they can win at Buffalo that would give them 10 wins, which would make them the 2nd worst 10 win team Parcells has built this decade.

21. Houston Texans - They'll be better heading into next year, I'm liking what I see for them now and they should get a win Monday on there 1st ever MNF game.

22. Buffalo Bills - They've fallen on tough times, but they take care of San Fran this week and they have a season deciding showdown against the Jets on the road. Playoffs are still a long shot though. They're probably ranked a little low.

23. San Diego Chargers - Again maybe to low, it's sad that there division is still attainable, I find it hard to believe Norv will be back, but if he's gone he'll latch onto another team and make there offense great and maybe sucker an owner 1 more time into being a head coach.

24. Cleveland Browns - So much for Brady Quinn getting experience. Just promise me America gets to keep seeing his sculpted chest each week as he runs the hurdles and drinking those energy drinks.

25. Oakland Raiders - I didnt get to see any of this game I just want to know if Jamarcus looked as good as his stats may have indicated, I was shocked that they beat the Broncos like that.

26. Jacksonville Jaguars - I hate when I make a pick thinking some team will be great and they totally crap on your heart, shame on you Jacksonville.

27. San Francisco 49ers - I hope Mike Singeltary will always have a job.

28. Kansas City Chiefs - Well Tyler Thigpen looks legit there defense though is as bad as anyone's in the league.

29. Seattle Seahawks

That's all I really have to say about the Seahawks. Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob

30. Cincinatti Bengals - If there owners weren't so cheap Marvin Lewis and Chad Johnson would have been gone a long time ago, instead this off season they'll lose there best WR TJ Houshmanzadeh.

31. St. Louis Rams - They have 1 more win but ever since barely losing to New England they've fallen on terrible times, nothing else to say.

32. Alabama Crimson Tide - # 1 until beaten, and nobody thinks they can beat Florida either. They're the Tennessee Titans of football, great defense and run game with average at best QB's. Only real difference is Julio Jones.

33. OU Sooners - It's almost a bad thing that they beat T. Tech by 40+ because now everyone is bitching about UT not getting into the Big XII title game. Everyone now just brushes Tech by like they've wanted to the entire time. I think OU's schedule is better and are more impressive then UT (and I realize they lost to them, I've heard that enough this week) None of the 3 teams deserve to bitch about the final verdict since they all lost though.

34. Florida Gators - I hate Florida and hope Tebow sucks in the SEC title game (for Bama's sake)

35. Texas Longhorns - Already adressed there situation, I also doubt they'll have a rematch against OU in the title game. Here's what would have to happen: Florida loses to FSU, then beats Alabama. Then I expect USC to jump ahead of the horns, so you'd have to have them lose. Also OU would have to win Bedlam and there conference title. And even if all that happened Utah might jump Texas if voters really dont want an interconference title game.

36. USC Trojans - I think there might be overhate for SC, I dislike them but nobody I know wants them in the title hunt but want them to face a legit BCS opponent. I think everyone is annoyed that they'd have the nerve to lose with all that talent on there team especially since the Pac 10 isn't that great (though I think overall the NCAA isn't what it's been in the past) Oh well if Oregon State wins Saturday then we'll probably see a Texas vs. USC game somewhere.

37. Utah Utes - I really wish the WAC and the MWC and maybe even C-USA would combine there best team to form a BCS conference, they deserve it this year as much as the ACC or Big East. Especially the top 3 in the MWC this year.

38. Acapella music - some guy on a forum I frequent was talking about it the other day and I can't get enough of this style of singing, here's a couple video's











39. Detroit Lions - they can't even sit atop the BCS rankings! How the mighty have fallen, oh wait they were never mighty.


9897987988787. Jonas Brothers - I never heard them before and prior to Thursday the only time I noticed them was when they were talking to Leno and they were on mute. Even then I waas hoping Ron Howard (who was sitting next to them) would take a fork out of his pocket and stab one in the eyeballs. They're the latest product of the Disney hype machine and my god they're horrible, are kids really this stupid. Obviously but my god there's a new low reached by disney every year. If I have a kid where do I have to go or who do I give my soul to that will allow me to exploit my kid and damaging his future to allow myself to get rich all while brainwashing kids with this filth?

9897987988788. Carson Daly - an all time douchebag. It takes a lot to go lower then him, about the only guy I can definitely say is lower then him is Skip Bayless.

Until next week, where I'll be typing to a few (loyal?) readers